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I find it easier to do the methodless method for meditation. I have difficulty observing a given defect, though I have many and this may be the problem.When I have selected a defect to meditate on, how do i go about doing that exactly?
Now, I understand that we have to concentrate on the defect and remain in equanimity. However, I am confused about the process itself.
For example: lust.. Should I bring the sensation of lust to my physical body and emotional and mental body and observe it there and the reactions of the three brain? If so, should these be observed simultaneously? Or one at a time?Or should I bring up an event of lust I experienced during the day, and play it back like a movie and observe how my 3 brains reacted?
For example: Let's say I saw a beautiful woman and in the moment of seeing here, I felt the need to look again, to do a double take. And I felt the desire of posessing her and then after noticed I couldnt stop thinking of her.... So, in this case I could see my emotional need to look, like seeking romance and wanting to posess her. And my physical reaction by doing the double take and feeling the desire to look and my mental reaction would be the whole thought process involved.. Should I comprehend all those by themselves?Or should I, at the beginning of the meditation, just bring lust to the surface and think about it and than release it and observe my mind...?
I find that this confusion prevents me from doing this meditation and I am disgusted with "myself". I also have serious problems with anger and frustration...Subtle and slick pride and laziness.. I can go on..
Sorry for the long winded question... you guys are the best.
I truly appreciate your help with in this matter.